Is there LIFE after KIDS??
Something I've been wondering for awhile... as I love working with kids, but really don't want any of my own. Do parents get to do fun stuff after they have kids? I know all parents in the entire world think "oh, having a baby is one of the best things that I ever did... it changed my life." Well, of course, it changed your life-- you had to be responsible for another human being and you had to feed it and educate it and worry about it.
But my question is... can you still be selfish after you have kids?
I was at a concert this weekend-- annual Joy of Christmas choral concert at the National Cathedral (click here for a virtual tour)-- and saw something that made me wonder. There was a group of families-- maybe about 2 families, each with small toddler-ish kids. One of the moms showed up 30 minutes late (which at that point, do you really want to go to the concert at all??) with kid in tow. She sat down, the kid got antsy and she left. SERIOUSLY... they left. After sitting for about 20 minutes. Another kid in the group, after the choir (who weren't bad, definitely not Raffi... but at least it could have put a kid to sleep) finished a hymn, the kid yells, HE SUCKS. Yeah... that's pretty good raising of a kid if they are saying things suck at the age of 2. So after trying to quiet the tyke down to no avail... they left too. Pretty soon... the entire group was gone. Tickets wasted, parents without the concert they were hoping for.
So when you have kids and you have to watch them and entertain them... does that mean you don't get to do the fun stuff you always wanted to do? Does your life essentially stop once their's begins? Interesting, and just a little sad.
Is this why tons of families in DC and other metro areas have nannies (also, note, a lot of them here are filipina nannies)? Does having a nanny give you the time to be selfish again?
Awhile ago, there was a story of a woman who climbed Mount Everest. Her name was Alison Hargreaves and she was a mother of 2. She summitted Everest without oxygen (no small feat, in case you didn't know, considering Everest is 29,000+ ft. tall). Her husband, a climbing photographer, stayed home to watch the kids. The same climber summited K2 in Pakistan. Shortly after summitting, she died, along with 3 other climbers in a sudden storm. She was criticized (yes, after her death) for taking on such a dangerous sport while being a mother. Is that fair? She was a climber before the kids and a climber after the kids were born... did that make her a bad mother? Was she supposed to stop when she had the kids? Something to think about... FYI: her son has an interest in climbing now, too. 
2 comments:
I don't know a lot about this but my guess is...no...there is not life as you've known it after kids. But, as my grandmother says "You give 20 years of your life to raise something that will continually give you joy for the rest of your life." This is supposing you actually like your children and they actually like you back and choose to spend some kind of time with you once they are grown. It is a sacrifice...there's no doubt about that. Maybe you can't go to a concert when you have small children...and you probably shouldn't (especially if your kids are like the ones that you encountered recently!) I see what my sister in law and brother are going through and it makes me think twice about my stance on having a family. For example...Cheryl has been sleep deprived for basically 2 and a half years! But than again, I do see the plus side to having kids...so...I don't know. However, I'm ready for it to be "acceptable" in the midwest to be married but decide not to have kids. If you don't want them...that's fine with me!
I could go on and on...I need to call you sometime soon! Merry Christmas!
Ohh...like the new banner with the new photo effects...and your name in the corner...so neat! You should become a professional photographer/web graphic designer. It's your new calling!
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